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It’s ok to update your dream.

Posted on by Kim in career, decision making, happiness, mindfulness, transitions

I have a friend from law school.  She worked in Big Law, until the firm unexpectedly dissolved in that time when many traditional big firms unraveled.  Then she worked for a small firm, commuting an hour each way and figuring out child care while her husband finished his graduate degree in another city.

She told me, “I’m living the dream, Kim.  The only problem is:  it’s the wrong dream!”  The hours, the commute, the stress of work, the demands of being a parent and wife were wearing her down.  “I worked so hard to get here, and for what?  To never see my kid or husband?  To spend hours working with mean people?  It’s a joke.” Continue reading “It’s ok to update your dream.” →

Take yourself on a date.

Posted on by Kim in career, decision making, mindfulness, transitions

Take yourself out on a date.  Ask yourself who you are, how things are going, and what you desire.  Ask yourself how you feel.  Ask your body what it needs.  Then ask your heart.  Then ask your brain.  Ask your gut what it has to say.

Listen.

There are many levels of your being, and they each have needs and opinions.  The brain is often the loudest.  It tends to bully or coerce.  “It just makes sense,” the brain says, “Be rational.  Do what I say.  I’m the smart one.” Continue reading “Take yourself on a date.” →

What to do when the past shows up.

Posted on by Kim in love, transitions

The doorbell rings.  You open the door and it’s your past, looking right at you.  You stare, heart pounding, and think, What do you want?  And it says, What do YOU want?  You think, Oh jeez, are we doing this again?  And it says, I don’t know, ARE we?

You have a couple of options.

You could close the door.  You could tell it to go away.  You could have a melt-down.  Or go through the familiar patterns from before.

You could also open your arms and embrace it.  Hold it close, feel how it feels.  Whisper a blessing in its ear.  And then open your arms and release it.  Let it go. Continue reading “What to do when the past shows up.” →

Find the right tuning forks.

Posted on by Kim in decision making, mindfulness, transitions

Here’s where this comes from:  I recently had my first acupuncture experience, and it included the strike of a tuning fork which was then placed at a point on the sole of my foot.  I’ve also been reading about mirror neurons, learning about the physiology of compassion and empathy, and spending time with professional musicians.

So I’m sinking my teeth into the idea that we are tuning forks for each other.  A tuning fork vibrates and produces a pure tone that guides the instrument home, to that same frequency, to that central resonance.  The vibration is experienced in three dimensions (maybe more?  do we have any experts on string theory in the house?). Continue reading “Find the right tuning forks.” →

Be willing to not know.

Posted on by Kim in decision making, love, transitions

Sometimes I feel so bound by the things I want to say that I end up saying nothing.  I don’t know where to begin, or how to lay out the words to create the story picture I want to share.  I feel stuck.

So I am learning the value of being willing to not know.  It’s about a willingness to begin, and to figure it out along the way (the doing is the finding out).  It gets me moving.

Let me try to say it another way. Continue reading “Be willing to not know.” →