Category: happiness

How to melt claustrophobia and panic.

Posted on by Kim in happiness, health, making the world a better place, meditation, mindfulness, stress strategies

airport flight meditation

What happens when you have a simple mindfulness practice that you can rely on?  Something you can pull out on demand, when you feel yourself starting to lose it and you absolutely need to be grounded and calm?

Here’s a story from one of my students, and how a simple practice has made a massive difference:

When I am overly tired or under high stress I get a little claustrophobic in elevators.  The feeling passes quickly enough so I haven’t worried about it, but in the last year I seem to feel that way a little more often than before.   

I was travelling back from a long, fun-filled weekend in Charlotte, NC last month and was scheduled to fly from Charlotte to Atlanta, then Atlanta to San Francisco.  I hadn’t had much sleep but the flight from Charlotte to Atlanta was fine.  I boarded the plane for the second leg of the trip okay and had a middle seat.  

All was well until the planes doors were closed and one of the passengers had to leave the plane because there wasn’t a seat for him. Continue reading “How to melt claustrophobia and panic.” →

(Meh)ditation

Posted on by Kim in happiness, love, making the world a better place, meditation, mindfulness, transitions

For most of my life I completely dismissed meditation as boring rubbish.  Sure, it was ok for the hippies, flakes, and losers — but I was a real person, with a real job and a real life!  Who has time to meditate?  And why on earth would you want to sit around and do. . . nothing?

It made no sense to me.

And I grew up in Santa Cruz, a beautiful sea-side town affectionally known to many for its hippie vibe.

So it’s funny that I teach people how to meditate and practice mindfulness in daily life.

What changed?

Well, I found a teacher.  Not that I was looking for one.  But a series of random events brought me to a small group class, and that was the beginning of taking the “meh” out of “meditation.”

My first big insights:

I didn’t have to be sitting on the floor, wearing weird clothes, with incense smoldering in the corner.  It was something I could do in a chair, in my work clothes.  No incense required.

It wasn’t about sitting and closing my eyes, and then waiting for something to happen.  It was about becoming more observant and aware of what was happening right in front of me.  I felt like a scientist, or an anthropologist.

I’d feel more relaxed and energized. . . at the same time!

My home practice could be just 5 minutes. . . and it still worked!  I’d go to class once a week for a longer practice and group discussion, then practice on my own in these bite-size meditations that fit my life.  Awesome.

It was a revelation.

Meditation gave me a fresh perspective on my inner thoughts and emotions, and also a new way to think about the challenges of work and relationships.  It let me see things in a new light.  Gave me a fresh perspective.

Which changes everything.

Once you see something, you can’t un-see it.  And once I saw for myself how useful, practical, and awesome meditation was, I couldn’t not practice.  And I couldn’t not share it with others.

And that leads me to the whole point of this post, which is to tell you to read this post by my friend Heath.  He heard my interview on The App Guy podcast, and reached out to me with some questions.  I pointed him in the right direction, and then, well, you can read what happened after that.

Here’s a quote to get you started:

Being a type A personality growing up, I always cold-shouldered the thought of meditation because it just seemed ridiculous. I didn’t have time for it – I didn’t need it – I definitely didn’t want it. . .

SHENANIGANS!

I was living every second in the quicksand, barely keeping my head above the oxygen level. Something needed to change. . .

The story of what changed is so beautiful.  I know I’ve been there.  Maybe you have, too.  I think you’ll love Heath’s story.  I’m happy to have been a part of it!

—

Listen to my interview with Heath on The Artrepreneur Now podcast.

Listen to my interview with Paul Kemp on The App Guy podcast.

Kim Nicol - meditation and mindfulness coach

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The wrong shoes.

Posted on by Kim in decision making, happiness, making the world a better place, meditation, mindfulness

Imagine you put on a pair of shoes.  They don’t fit quite right.  But you keep wearing them anyway, for whatever reason.  And after a while, your feet begin to hurt.

What do you do?

Maybe you say to yourself, “Huh, these are the wrong shoes.  I thought they were good for me, but I was wrong.  Or maybe I’ve just outgrown them.”

And then you take off the shoes and go barefoot for a while, and then try on other pairs until you find what feels right.

Or maybe. . . you say to yourself, “What’s wrong with me?  My feet are too big.  My arches are too flat.  Maybe if I just tried harder, I could make this work.”

And you wear those shoes for years, suffering.  There is the pain in your body, and the pain in your mind from beating up on yourself.  You feel trapped in those shoes.

Two ways to look at the same situation.

How you see the situation — your perception — informs your choice.

Your choice shapes your life. Continue reading “The wrong shoes.” →

Unplug and recharge.

Posted on by Kim in courses, happiness, health, meditation, mindfulness, yoga

We all need to drop by the oasis from time to time.  That’s where you gather your strength, rest and reflect, and replenish yourself.

Because no matter how strong or determined you are, if you are out of synch and out of balance, you simply can’t be your best self.  If you don’t rest appropriately, everything starts to break down.  Failure to rest takes its toll on your work, health, and personal relationships.

Rest is valuable.  

Take time to unplug, sleep, play, and reconnect.  Replenish your mind and body, heart and spirit.  

Tree and greathouseI’d like to invite you to join me for a week of deep rest.   Continue reading “Unplug and recharge.” →

Don’t I need anxiety to push myself and get things done?

Posted on by Kim in happiness, health, meditation, mindfulness, stress strategies

Since I work with so many high-achievers, this question comes up a lot.  And it’s a really good question, because it shows that you’re thinking about your relationship to anxiety and stress.

My short answer is:  Anxiety can be useful from time to time.  But kindness is a better long-term strategy.

I like to think of it in fitness terms.

Let’s say you have really strong quads, because you train them every day.  But because that’s all you do, they become over-developed in relationship to the rest of your system — your hamstrings are underdeveloped and your psoas is tight — so your overall system is out of balance. Continue reading “Don’t I need anxiety to push myself and get things done?” →

All this emotion.

Posted on by Kim in happiness, meditation, mindfulness

When I first started meditating, I thought the goal was to not feel anger, impatience, or deep sadness ever again.  And at first, it seemed to kind of work.  I became more present to beauty and joy in the moment, and being mindful made them more vivid.  It was great.

But what also began to happen was that all of my emotions became brighter.  Anxiety, insecurity, anger. . . all of those became more intense.

I thought I must be doing it wrong.  Meditation is supposed to make you peaceful, right? I thought that if I meditated hard enough, often enough, and did it just right, I would be able to live in a happy place all the time. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with all of those other emotions.

Now I know, and I want to tell you, that what actually happens once you begin to notice your emotions, and you allow yourself to feel them as they are, is that they all become more vivid. Continue reading “All this emotion.” →

Mindful goal setting.

Posted on by Kim in career, decision making, happiness, health, love, meditation, mindfulness

Last year, when I decided to resign from my “safe” corporate job, I knew that I would need community and structure to help me move forward into my new life.  I’ve stumbled through enough clumsy transitions in my life to know that some kind of plan was critical for me — even if my plan was “no plan”, I still needed framework and feedback to thrive.  That’s why the timing was perfect for my InnerYoga teacher training.  It was 13-months of study and practice.  It was the perfect community and support system for me.

And now, as 2013 draws towards a close, I want to share more of what I know about mindful change.  Continue reading “Mindful goal setting.” →

Let success go deep.

Posted on by Kim in career, decision making, happiness, making the world a better place, mindfulness

From time to time, it’s a good idea to ask yourself:  What does success look like?  What does it feel like?

Because the answers may change as you live and experience different flavors of success.  If you don’t check in with yourself, you could spend years of your life chasing an idea of success that you’ve outgrown.  Trying to make it fit.

And there are outside layers of success:  things people can see from your Facebook status or LinkedIn profile.  Your job title, where you live, your stuff, your vacations, all the conferences or parties you attend, or how perfect your relationship appears.

And that’s all cool.  Have that.

But also take time to become still and ask yourself how it feels underneath.  Does success live only on the surface of your life?  Or does it go deep? Continue reading “Let success go deep.” →

Courage, love.

Posted on by Kim in decision making, happiness, making the world a better place, meditation, transitions

Because meditation slows you down, it lets whatever is inside become very vivid, very present.  It amplifies your existing joy, love, happiness. But it also brings the uncomfortable parts — fear, self-doubt, exhaustion — right up in your face.

This can be terrifying.  Especially if you’re in the habit of numbing, distancing, or distracting yourself by being super busy, over eating,  drinking too much, creating drama in your life and relationships, or losing yourself in TV or online (“there’s so much internet to read!”).

I know something about this. Continue reading “Courage, love.” →

See the world, see your self.

Posted on by Kim in career, happiness, making the world a better place, mindfulness, transitions

This post is about travel, but it starts by noting that I am the child of two amazing people.  My mother grew up in the Philippines, and it was a very long time before I realized that not everyone’s mother knew how to wield a machete.  (It is an excellent gardening tool, and there is nothing better for taking the top off a coconut, which she demonstrated with grace on a family vacation to Hawaii.) My father grew up in a very small town in the Midwest and joined the Peace Corps.  He coached athletes for international competition, traveled through Africa, Asia, and Europe, and read me Kipling and the Olympic creed when I was young. Continue reading “See the world, see your self.” →