Take yourself on a date.

Take yourself out on a date.  Ask yourself who you are, how things are going, and what you desire.  Ask yourself how you feel.  Ask your body what it needs.  Then ask your heart.  Then ask your brain.  Ask your gut what it has to say.


There are many levels of your being, and they each have needs and opinions.  The brain is often the loudest.  It tends to bully or coerce.  “It just makes sense,” the brain says, “Be rational.  Do what I say.  I’m the smart one.”

The brain thinks it knows everything.  It doesn’t.  Each of the levels of your being has its own intelligence and language.  Practice listening to what they have to say.  Give the brain 3 minutes of floor time, then say Thank you and ask it to sit down.  Give it a job.  Tell the brain to take notes and help you listen to what all the other voices have to say.

Be truthful.  Even when it feels scary.

A year ago I asked myself what I wanted.  I got quiet.  Took a few breaths.  And what surfaced, which was terrifying, was this:  I want to leave.

More about that later.

For now, I just want you to remember:  Take yourself out on a date. Schedule it this week.  Maybe you take yourself on a walk.  Or out to coffee.  Or to a museum.  Or out for Thai noodles.  But give yourself some time to be curious about who you are, how you feel, and what you want.  Ask useful questions.  What you learn on that date might change your life.

It could even save it.