Fieldnotes and clues.

Today I feel overwhelmed with desire, happiness, and a sense of yearning.   I remember my yoga and meditation training, and I try to simply soften and open to it.  I relax the muscles in my face and belly and feel my breath slow deepen.  I try to feel everything:  the sun on my neck, the weight and texture of my sweater, that spark and flutter and reach in my heart.

I call these writings my Fieldnotes because they are just that:  observations, clues, notes from my living.  I feel like an explorer in new territory.  I venture into the open and uncharted terrain.  I meet people, I notice things, I write it down.  I hope that one day these notes and clues will help me remember where I have been, and what I have experienced.  If they are of service in any way to others, even better.

There is so much I want to share.  It takes a long time to say it.  I hope I’m getting better at it as I practice.

Because I have so many ideas today and they’re clamoring for attention I want to simply acknowledge them here:

  • the sacred stir-fry
  • how everyone is a different version of you, and why that is both awesome and scary
  • enjoying this version of your life
  • what the trapeze taught me
  • acclimating to joy, serenity, and satisfaction
  • outside input, and how the right bra changes everything
  • range of emotion and emotional flexibility as a physical practice
  • the distance between this version of your life and other versions — the space between what is and “what should be” or “what was” — and how that is such a painful place
  • how yoga makes me more decisive and meditation makes me more efficient
  • looking for clues — trying things and having conversations
  • “go towards the light” — which makes me laugh, and is where the living happens
  • calibrating, tuning-up and tuning into your inner compass
  • how being awake, aroused, and enlightened are all related, and remembering that meditation, yoga, sex, and compassion can align and harmonize in this crazy beautiful way
  • tasting the day
  • how hospice is a living place, with wine and pets and laughter and love and sunlight, and what I learned about life unwinding itself, and why a cat was my role model
  • the importance of reading real books, with covers, so other people can notice and say hello

That’s all for now, my love.

Be curious.  Savor all of it.