Today I feel overwhelmed with desire, happiness, and a sense of yearning. I remember my yoga and meditation training, and I try to simply soften and open to it. I relax the muscles in my face and belly and feel my breath slow deepen. I try to feel everything: the sun on my neck, the weight and texture of my sweater, that spark and flutter and reach in my heart.
I call these writings my Fieldnotes because they are just that: observations, clues, notes from my living. I feel like an explorer in new territory. I venture into the open and uncharted terrain. I meet people, I notice things, I write it down. I hope that one day these notes and clues will help me remember where I have been, and what I have experienced. If they are of service in any way to others, even better.
There is so much I want to share. It takes a long time to say it. I hope I’m getting better at it as I practice.
Because I have so many ideas today and they’re clamoring for attention I want to simply acknowledge them here:
- the sacred stir-fry
- how everyone is a different version of you, and why that is both awesome and scary
- enjoying this version of your life
- what the trapeze taught me
- acclimating to joy, serenity, and satisfaction
- outside input, and how the right bra changes everything
- range of emotion and emotional flexibility as a physical practice
- the distance between this version of your life and other versions — the space between what is and “what should be” or “what was” — and how that is such a painful place
- how yoga makes me more decisive and meditation makes me more efficient
- looking for clues — trying things and having conversations
- “go towards the light” — which makes me laugh, and is where the living happens
- calibrating, tuning-up and tuning into your inner compass
- how being awake, aroused, and enlightened are all related, and remembering that meditation, yoga, sex, and compassion can align and harmonize in this crazy beautiful way
- tasting the day
- how hospice is a living place, with wine and pets and laughter and love and sunlight, and what I learned about life unwinding itself, and why a cat was my role model
- the importance of reading real books, with covers, so other people can notice and say hello
That’s all for now, my love.
Be curious. Savor all of it.
Kim Nicol 