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Let the pain move through you.

Posted on by Kim in art, health, love, meditation

Stay, love, and be willing to breathe in the storm.  Stay, love, and let the tears come.  Sometimes pain comes like a wave.  It builds into a terrible peak and then crashes, threatening to drown you, over and over again.  Sometimes pain gathers and moves in like thick clouds.  Pain can be sharp and bright, achey and dull, immediate like lightning or creeping like fog.  It can be sticky, heavy, and thick.  Or so thin and cold that it burns.

Feel the pain move through you.  Breathe deeply, let your mind, heart, body, and soul be easy.

The impulse is to run. Continue reading “Let the pain move through you.” →

Meditation and intimacy.

Posted on by Kim in love, making the world a better place, meditation, mindfulness, Uncategorized

There is a longing for connection that is part of being a human.  A desire to be seen, heard, and accepted just as you are.  To be welcomed and loved unconditionally.  No masks, no hiding, no posturing.  No matter where you are on your career path, and no matter what status symbols you’ve acquired.  Even if you don’t feel your best (especially then).  Even when you feel far from perfect.  When you’re confused, or frustrated, or just terribly sad.  Yet also:  when you feel radiantly beautiful and strong.  When you feel happy and attractive, and excited for your life.  We wish to connect and be accepted then, too. Continue reading “Meditation and intimacy.” →

See the world, see your self.

Posted on by Kim in career, happiness, making the world a better place, mindfulness, transitions

This post is about travel, but it starts by noting that I am the child of two amazing people.  My mother grew up in the Philippines, and it was a very long time before I realized that not everyone’s mother knew how to wield a machete.  (It is an excellent gardening tool, and there is nothing better for taking the top off a coconut, which she demonstrated with grace on a family vacation to Hawaii.) My father grew up in a very small town in the Midwest and joined the Peace Corps.  He coached athletes for international competition, traveled through Africa, Asia, and Europe, and read me Kipling and the Olympic creed when I was young. Continue reading “See the world, see your self.” →

Welcome all emotions; please sign the Guest Book.

Posted on by Kim in happiness, mindfulness

Being human means that you get to experience an enormous range of emotion.  Some of these feel great, and because they are so pleasurable you want more of them:  happiness, bliss, contentment.  Some of these feel awful, and because they are so painful you want less of them:  disappointment, rejection, betrayal.

It’s the clinging and aversion the ancients caution us against.  The chasing pleasure and the running from pain that creates a cycle of exhausted dissatisfaction and can be so destructive.  Our suffering is there. Continue reading “Welcome all emotions; please sign the Guest Book.” →

Emotional tuning forks.

Posted on by Kim in happiness, mindfulness

Someone asked me what makes me happy.  I wrote a partial list and realized it was not a list of what makes me happy.  More accurately, it was a list moments or experiences that brought happiness out of me.  As I wrote the list, I felt happy.  Each item is an emotional tuning fork, a pure tone that clarifies for me, Yes, Happiness.

Happiness, like love, is part of our nature.  At times we forget this.  We think it’s something that comes from outside.  We put conditions on it, I’ll be happy when. . . Continue reading “Emotional tuning forks.” →

A gift, with love, on my birthday.

Posted on by Kim in love, making the world a better place, meditation

There was a day you emerged into this world, and you were tiny, perfect, and loved.  You were perfect not because of your accomplishments.  You were loved not for your achievements.  You were perfect, because you were here now, brand new to this world and so full of life.  You were loved simply because you were alive.

There were no conditions upon your arrival.  You simply were.  Loved.  So sweetly and powerfully beloved.

No matter what came later.  Continue reading “A gift, with love, on my birthday.” →

Be willing to see.

Posted on by Kim in career, decision making, happiness, mindfulness, transitions

A year ago I had to renew my passport, so I went to the Walgreen’s near my office at lunch to get photos taken.  I remember feeling exhausted, but also happy because I was excited for my upcoming trip.  The photos came out and when I saw them, I didn’t recognize myself.  I looked terrible.  I looked beat down and tired.  My face looked. . . saggy and dim.  Was that really what I looked like?  I felt my cheeks burn, and paid for my photos and left.*

Back at the office, way up on the 26th floor where we had amazing views of the bay, I went to the restroom and looked in the mirror.  I really looked.   I saw bloodshot eyes, from staring too long at a screen.  I saw slumped shoulders.  A down-turned mouth.  I saw a spark in the eye, but it was dim.  Like an overcast sky.  I thought, This isn’t right.  I tried to smile.  It was grotesquely superficial and unconvincing. Continue reading “Be willing to see.” →

Be a ninja.

Posted on by Kim in bar exam, career, happiness, health, making the world a better place, mindfulness, stress strategies

I wanted to call this post “How to keep your inner chill when surrounded by crazy people,” but that felt too long and not quite the point I want to make.

I’m thinking about the Bar Exam.  Also certain family gatherings.  And occasional corporate town hall meetings.  Any time I felt like I was surrounded by people who were kinda crazy, and I was concerned about getting sucked down into the crazy with them. Continue reading “Be a ninja.” →

You can’t tell when you’re in it.

Posted on by Kim in bar exam, stress strategies

The California Bar Exam is three days long.  After 12 weeks of study and preparation, it was a relief to finally take the exam just so that it would be behind me.

My strategy for the exam included:  not talking to people, having all the food I would need in my room, and not eating carbs because they make me sleepy.  I ate yogurt, fruit, and a hard-boiled egg at breakfast.  For lunch I rolled up sliced turkey with avocado and some greens and tomato.  I don’t remember what I ate for dinner.  It didn’t matter.  I just wanted to relax and feel rested for the next day. Continue reading “You can’t tell when you’re in it.” →