The other day, as I walked home from teaching my morning class, I noticed a man walking towards me. He looked agitated and unkempt, and was muttering to himself. And as we drew closer he looked up and saw me and began to move faster, and he leaned towards me as he passed and shouted, “You fucking bitch!” He was so close I could feel his breath against my cheek. We both kept walking. A couple of guys up the block had turned and seen this. “Are you ok?” they asked. Yes, I said. “Well, I hope your day goes better.” But I was having a good day, and I felt fine. Like it just blew past me and didn’t land at all.
Things like that happen in San Francisco — in life anywhere, actually. People out of nowhere shout obscenities for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
I notice that when I’m feeling whole those kinds of things are less likely to stick to me. And by whole I mean remembering the inherent unity of my breath, heart, mind, and body. My sense of deep, inner ok-ness. I have many practices for remembering this: yoga, dance, willPower & grace, meditation, walking, writing and photography. Each has its own rituals, community, and venue. Each informs the other. Each illuminates another perspective of my life.
I’m realizing how every moment holds an invitation to drop in and simply notice what’s present. Even here, walking to my meeting. Even here, standing in line at the grocery store. Even here, as a stranger shouts curse words at me.
I made something I want to share with you. I was walking down Market Street and remembering my meditation practice, and enjoying the fact that I could integrate it with my regular day. I saved you a piece.
Be curious. Savor all of it.
Kim Nicol 